I know, I know, I just disappeared for like a month. So here's the story, my intentions were good, I WAS going to write twice a week for the month that I was on vacation, but then laziness took over and I just watched too much television (I think I have an addiction) and ate A LOT! Honestly, the first two weeks I didn't feel like writing because Camp lost one of its campers right before Christmas. I honestly didn't get to know her that well, even though she was in my cabin, but Leah was always smiling and people called her the dog whisperer. I know it comes with the territory of knowing people that are disabled like myself, to expect that we won't live as long as able bodied people, but it kinda hit me like a big yellow school bus: as much as I try and be positive about life, the odds that I'll live as long as my able bodied friends aren't so great. I know people die every day, of all ages, for all different reasons, but it just hits me every time: life is short.
Then the shooting in Connecticut totally freaked me out, so I didn't feel like writing or reflecting on it so suddenly. You see, as a kid (let's be honest, I'm still this way) I thought strangers were going to kill me or that they were crazy or something, because I have trust issues due to feeling so limited. So in school I was always super shy (still am) and I wouldn't really talk to someone until I categorized them as 'normal' <---not a killer. That's why it freaks me out that these kids saw someone with a gun, were shot, and didn't even have the opportunity to save themselves. I am however INCREDIBLY proud of the teacher that hid her students in cabinets to save them. In high school there was a lockdown for 3 hours because some guy was running around possibly with weapons at a mall (my high school was across the street from said mall) and my art teacher, Mrs. Summerfield put me in the supply closet, nothing bad happened and they caught the guy, but I'm really glad I was in that class during the lockdown (originally I had tried to get credit for French as an art credit, I'm glad that didn't go through--there weren't any closets in any of the other classrooms).
So in conclusion, hearing about deaths and my compassion levels being higher than usual over the Holidays, drained me of actually wanting to write. The only thing I really had energy for was eating my feelings and changing channels/movies on the OnDemand feature on the remote. I did hang out with my wheelchair/camp friends one day, and my school friend another day. I was going to finish reading Ben Mattlin's book, but that never happened...oops! I did however get going on my Ellen DeGeneres show plan! I listened to a bunch of music and did I already mention I ate a lot?! Oh and drumroll please...I MADE IT ON THE DEAN'S LIST!!!!!!!!!! Fall goal accomplished!!!!!!!!!! :)