Ali :) This one's for you and me!

Ali, this one's for you :D

I met you about three years ago, right after I got swine flu (I'm still alive woot woot!) and I had to catch up on a month of A.P. and honors homework, oh and that senior project (death).  You had been working for about four months when I go and break my first bone ever (thigh), so I was bed bound for about the rest of the school year.  You will never know how much it meant to me that you were there cheering me up when I felt gross, sick, sad, depressed, and lame because I had to drop my nerdy courseload.  I have never felt so disabled and alone, but it didn't matter because you got me through all those hurdles.  My thigh got infected exactly on the day of my eighteenth birthday and I had to spend the day in the hospital, but you were there making it a day to celebrate (I had a reaction to the splint, I know just my luck) because it got better within twenty-four hours.  I had to apply to my dream University and about thirty scholarships, and you helped me with all that.  You were there when I only got one scholarship, but my dream University offered me a full ride.  You made Prom the most memorable day of my teenage years with a hott date and you made me feel beautiful with your make-up/beauty skills!  You made me feel like I mattered, like I hadn't vanished from the face of the earth just because I was homeschooled for the last four months of high school.  You defended me in front of my doctors, you became the sister I have ALWAYS wanted!  We had awesome dance parties and you put up with all my baggage (high maintenance and caregiving needs).  You left me for about a year and three months (to sing to God on tour), but you would visit me on your breaks and you kept me in the loop at all times.  Oh I forgot to mention, because my love life is non-exsistent and I only have two to four very close friends, I live vicariously through Ali most of the time.  I dedicate myself to homework and my health most of the time. 

Ali came back to work for me February 2012.  While she was gone I went through six caregivers, some lasted a week, some lasted three months.  It is incredibly hard for someone to take care of someone else, and to do it well, is pretty amazing.  So Ali has been my caregiver exception.  We go to school, the hospital, the mall, mexican parties, and camp.  Like I said in my previous post I only went to camp because I was sure of the person I was going with, I do not like the unknown.  This may come off as a bit braggy, but I could tell the people at camp looked up to Ali and I's relationship, they wanted the bond, the friendship, the security of our awesomeness.  I appreciate you Ali, so much that words do not do it justice (and my words are pretty legendary hahaha)!  I love our inside jokes, our equal boy crazy high, the fact that you can read my face/eyes/mind all the time, the dance/singing break outs we have, the people I have met through you, the Jesus love we have, the amount of money you spend on me, answering all my questions, the act of actually knowing who I am (besides the wheelchair).  I LOVE YOU MEXI-WHITE SISTER! :D <3

Fall 2009



Summer 2012



Adios readers,

Yomara :)

Missing me...Camp Promise

I know, I know I have been missing for a week and a half, but if it makes anyone feel better I just had the best week of my life.  So I am about to write the longest post I have ever written, be prepared...

So I went to camp, my first ever woodsy camp, stayed in an actual cabin, bugs, insects, FUN and all that craziness.  I was exceedingly hesitant to go to camp in the first place because I'm not used to sharing a room and sharing my caregiver, in all I'm just not used to living with anyone but my parents.  Everyone at CP has a physical disability and there is a counselor for everyone, so I knew I wasn't alone in the sea of fear.  There was a six hour orientation for every counselor and that made me feel better (although I took my caregiver of three years to be my counselor, so I was sure I was in good hands).  I will devote a post later on to my mexi-white sister (counselor, PCA, caregiver, sister, friend) Ali, so stay tuned!  So I was actually supposed to arrive on Monday, but I ended up going on Sunday with Ali (counselor orientation).  I went with Ali mostly out of convenience (2 hour drive to camp), but I also wanted to see all the counselors before anyone else, what can I say I LOVE being informed ;)

I thought all the counselors were pretty cool, laid back, and hilarious at first impression.  Some took their volunteer week there more seriously, while others were more chill, but it was an amazing balance.  There was only one counselor I knew wouldn't hack it (remember I'm totally psychic), and I was right, she left by day four.  I had about four to five other predictions and they turned out right, all except for one.  Now I have about six predictions for next year, but that is a long time away :(

I was SO scared and hesitant to actually go, but I am SO glad I did!  The first two days I kind of wanted to drive off one of the beautiful hills, maybe the dock, because I was so sleep deprived.  Thankfully I figured out how exhaustion works: when you are a light sleeper then you don't sleep and then you get grumpy and tired, but after two nights of this you crash and can even sleep with a bunch of noise and the lights on.  Can I get a woot woot?!  SUCCESS!!!

From there it was pure friendships, bonding, happy and fun times, smiling, laughing, secrets, giggling, gossip, basically the best!  My cabin girls became my best buddies: Kyann, Niki, Allison, Amber, Loan, Danielle, Erika, Allegra, Angie, Cheri, Deanie, Hayley, Steph, Gaby and of course my Ali!  The great thing was that we were only one of the five cabins, so there was also Sean, Jake, Morgan, Ben, Elliott, Travis, Nick, Alex, Michael, Derek, Tim, Kelly, Terin, Libby, Daniel (both), John, Omar, Sarah, Shannon, Beth, Matt, Sami, Jonah, Noah, April, Mark, and everyone else that was there!!!!! :D <3

All the activities were incredibly fun to watch or when I felt brave (not often) to participate in!  I was at my ultimate admiration high, because I have so much admiration for the counselors that take care of the campers and make having fun a possibility for us all!  The devotion and sacrifice when they are exhausted and they find energy to keep us all smiling, I am so greatful!!!  My fellow campers you also inspire me keep fighting for another day, we are all alive right now, let us enjoy it!  Carpe diem!!! :)

Lastly I want to thank the boys that came from Great Britain and Conneticut: Lewis, Elliott, Ben, and Michael!  You boys made the camp so much fun, I appreciate all of you!  Camp Promise <3
To donate or check out this AMAZING camp: http://camppromise.org/



Niki (she told me about the camp!)



Michael (Conneticut)

The boys with the English accent :) (Left to Right: Ben, Lewis, Elliott)

Camp Promise Summer 2012 :D <3

Adios readers,
Yomara :)

A little or a lot about me...

The following is information for you to feel like you actually know me! You're welcome! :)

Favorites:
Color: Pink
Animals: dolphin, koala, starfish.
Food: Mexican
Drink: Sprite or Sierra Mist
Flavor: chocolate, strawberry, lime
Shoe Size: 1.5, I know small feet
Clothes: Small/medium or XL in kids
Celebrity: Ian Somerhalder
Lung Capacity: 15%
Weight: 72 lbs
Height (if I were to stand): 5ft

Other:
Only child
Mexican
1st generation in college
Shy
Allergic to pepper
Nasal allergies
LOVE shopping
Afraid of living without my parents
Afraid of snakes
LOVE television shows (addicted is more like it)
I broke my thigh once...
I have two rods in my back (scoliosis or wolverine is my real dad)
I like to paint wooden boxes, frames, etc.
I love to have epic dance parties!
I love to live! :)

Adios readers,
Yomara :)

Never satisfied

As humans I feel as if we are never truly satisfied, meaning we feel like happiness is obtained only for short periods of time. When you are unhealthy you tend to appreciate life more, but also whine about the stuff you do not have. I think it's okay to whine, I mean with someone who is willing to listen, that way you do not annoy them. I listen to a lot of people, and it's not because I have a lot of friends, because I don't, but because people can honestly tell me anything. I always listen, but rarely give advice because well it scares me to tell someone to do something and then have it turn out to be a bad situation. I also talk, only to a few people, mostly my mom and two or three friends.

There's always another problem, we are never fully satisfied. Someone can ask you how you are doing, and sure you say "Good" or "Fine" but you almost never mean it. There is always something in your life that could be fixed/altered/bettered and isn't that just terrifying?

I'm scared of how much I'm constantly trying to change and better my health, my education, my life. I know it's good to strive towards life goals, but sometimes it feels like there is no finish line. I'm happy where I am at, but I am constantly pushing and it scares me beyond belief that I push and may not even get to live my dreams.

I have sacrificed homework for fun, and sometimes health for homework. What if my dream of being a successful writer with my books being turned into shows or movies never comes true? What if my prayers of walking are never answered? What if everything I've sacrificed and been denied is never rewarded?

I don't know if everything I've lived through will be worth it later in my life. The only thing I do know is that when I die (after a Pulitzer) God will be waiting for me, and that is worth it. I'm satisfied in knowing I have been blessed to live until today, that and my parents is all I need.

Adios readers,
Yomara :)

Food :)

I mentioned in my last post that I turn to food in any scenario when I disappoint myself, but honestly I turn to food all the time. Since I am Mexican I enjoy my culture's food, but ironically I don't do well with spicy food. I love beef and I do feel bad when I eat it (moral wise) because I know cows and most animals are abused, but my body craves it so much and my weak bones need it.

I love tamales, tacos, tortillas, and much more. I really enjoy fries from the USA food, and I don't like burgers, I know ironic. I love pizza with pepperoni and Parmesan! I love nachos. I would marry chocolate!!!

In the healthy food group: soy milk, lettuce, rice, bananas, apples, peaches, nectarines, oranges, corn, potatoes, chicken and beef!

I drink Boost Plus chocolate flavored to keep my weight up because it has all the essentials without having to eat veggies. It is a taste you have to get used to, but it keeps me alive. Some people with my condition have a feeding tube because their weight is too low, but I just chug the Boost.

I love gyoza from teriyaki places, but I stick to my culture for the most part because my mom's cooking is amazing!!! I am so blessed!

I love ice cream (chocolate) and cake of any sort, carbs are my friend! :)

Adios readers,
Yomara :)

Disappointment :(

So I said I would write on here every Wednesday and Sunday, but I have not done so. I am honestly disappointed in myself more than anything, but it is not fair to my writing or to whoever is reading this that I did not come through. That is why I will post twice today and twice tomorrow to get back on my promised count. To add to this post, I will be talking about disappointment...

We have all been victims of disappointment (although sometimes it is not good to play the victim). Sometimes people disappoint you, you disappoint people, or you disappoint yourself. Emotions are hard to deal with but disappointment is definitely one of the harder ones for me. I want to do so much and when I don't reach my own expectations I feel a sense of failure. I put a lot of pressure on myself academically and physically to just stay alive and keep going, because giving up on myself is never an option.

To cope with disappointment I eat (good thing I'm always trying to gain weight) chocolate. I make goals for myself and strive to be a better person every day! As cliche as it sounds, every time you fall get back up!

Adios readers,
Yomara :)

Selfish

Sometimes we are human, sometimes we are selfish. I admit I have done it before, I even did it yesterday, when I didn't post because I was selfishly watching Captain America. Now that is a smaller act of selfishness, but even so I have made some selfish acts that I am ashamed of.

I know I shouldn't blame those acts on on my sometimes depressing emotional state of being disabled, but really what else is there to blame, ok I know myself! Sometimes I am selfish with my parents, meaning I am high maintenance and ask them to do many things for me. This is probably the one act I am most ashamed of because honestly I feel like sometimes I am a burden/nuisance and I kind of cling to my parents so they won't forget I need them, all the time.

I know horrible of me to do so, and I'm working on it. Honestly the thing that makes me super happy is to see acts of unselfishness, those people are my inspiration to be a less selfish person. There is always someone out there who has it worse, so pick yourself up and help yourself and those less fortunate. I know people give me the pity look, but I am blessed and hope you are too :)

Adios readers,
Yomara :)